TTASFICST pt. III

3. When Pippen thinks that something is fun, (i.e. somebody throws a ball, spontaneous dancing) he tucks his lip curtains into his lower lip and it looks like he's trying to smile. I finally got a picture of it.

In other news, he may be dying.

Pippen thinks that anything on the floor made of paper or cardboard material is his. Unfortunately, while searching the grounds, he found a Raid Mosquito repellent thing that goes in the light socket to kill mosquitoes at night and we found him playing with it later. He had chewed it up so much that it turned from blue to white. We gave him two Tums last night in an attempt to curb the pain of the poison that's probably killing him inside.

He seems to be unaffected so far. Pippen's got a crazy effective immune system. If we can make it through tonight, I think he's going to be fine.

TTASFICST Pt. II

2. I think that I've heard of something like this before, maybe in a joke, but here it is in real life, in the very city in which I live! So funny I can't stand it. Both sides are packed at night.

Things That Are So Funny I Can't Stand Them

Installment One

1. Unexpected and Spontaneous Dancing- in real life but (occasionally) in the movies, like this:

Movie Night with CC

CC: mumble mumble
Me: What?
CC: mumble
Me: WHAT?
CC: SIGOURNEY WEAVER
Me: . . .
Me: You shouldn't even know that

Basketball

The 2008 San Juan del Rio Basketball Tournament Championship Finals ended today in bloodshed and a near riot as hundreds of onlookers rushed the stands to get a better view of a fight provoked by a disgruntled player, nearly resulting in my own death by human stampede.

It looked sort of like this, only more Mexican:



But it was still exciting because the fight began as the game ended and the players were shaking each others' hands, after a really close, intense game that was won in the last fifteen seconds or so by the team that had been down only a half a minute before. All the players were pissed at each other. Everyone was getting technical fouls. It was hot and stuffy in the gym and the people in the stands were hot and stuffy with way too much passion for their team. It was the right environment for something to happen and actually I KNEW something was going to happen, and I actually told my friend to get her baby off the floor where she was playing on her blanket because, like Deanna Troy, I had a feeling.

The fight started when Pablo, who unfortunately was on Team Qro, sucker punched player #15 under the eye instead of shaking his hand in the "good game" lineup thing that teams do after games. Pablo sought refuge in the stands next to his girlfriend, who was sitting next to me, while #15 and his bleeding swelling face followed him, bringing his whole team and the rest of the gymnasium with him. It was scary. The crowd was aggravating the situation and people were holding cameras up in the air and recording the whole thing, probably to put the video of the fight on YouTube.

To be honest, when I saw the whole gymnasium coming towards me, I stood up and walked up the stands to the very top so that I wouldnt get trampled. Death by Stampede is on my mind, because of the recent tragedy in Mexico City in the News Divine nightclub when well nevermind Im too lazy so here http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/21/world/americas/21briefs-10ARETRAMPLE_BRF.html?_r=1&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&oref=slogin.

After being blocked in for about 15 minutes, I was finally able to escape death and made it to the other side and out the door, and the last I saw of Pablo and his girlfriend was him sitting in the stands looking all dejected and below him like two hundred people shouting at him and the police trying to grab him by the arm and his girlfriend standing in between them and screaming in the face of one of the officers. I think what happened is that #15's teammates went outside and threw a rock and broke the windshield of her car, thinking it was his.

So, lots and lots of ghetto drama today, thank god, and a special thanks to Pablo and the nosy, destructive people of San Juan del Rio for making it possible. And for bringing the drama to me, because unless it happens right in front of my face, I never get to see it.

I Do Cultural Stuff

Last night I was asked to be an edecan at The Ballet, which means that I got to stand at the top of the stairs and hand out programs. Nobody took a picture of me, so unfortunately I cannot post one of me in action, but it turns out that I am the best edecan ever. Here is what I said to each and everyone in attendance last night at The Ballet:

Bienvenidos! (Big Smile)
Aqui tiene! (hand them program)
Adelante, Por Favor!
(Big Smile)
Que disfrutan el show! (Just kidding I didnt really say this line but I wanted to)

Which was pretty much my script for the night. Before I left, CC helped me practice by pretending to enter the bathroom door where I'd be standing and then I'd say my lines to him. It served me well, because I didn't make any mistakes and the night was a success, except for when people came up and asked me questions like, "when is this act going to be over?" or, "Where is the bathroom?", which I hadn't rehearsed and didn't know the answers for anyway. But I made it through and I hope I get asked to edecan again.

BORING MAN

Yesterday, our best friend couple (and our padrinos de velacion) took us out to dinner for our anniversary week. It was lovely. We had a heated discussion about the movie Juno and whether or not it will influence teenagers to give their babies away and whether or not it matters. Then CC and the Padrino forced me to watch IRON MAN, on pirata, at our house.

IRON MAN is everything I hate about the movies. Stupid story, stupid cool explosions and stupid "awesome" special effects, stupid "coolest man on Earth" protagonist with freakishly large rib cage that is going to depress all men who watch the movie because they cannot be him.

I'm willing to bet my life on the fact that IRON MAN is plagued with all kinds of basic scientific errors, too (obviously the whole concept of IRON MAN is ridiculous, but Im not talking about that), carelessly thrown in because story isn't an issue and because most people are just like me and too dumb in science to know any better. But even if I don't exactly know what mistakes were made and probably wouldn't understand even if they were pointed out, I know they are there, and that makes it worse.

In other news, I finally tracked down the only copy of the third season of The Office on legal DVD known to exist in the entire city of Queretaro, so I bought it and that's what we've been doing this week. We love The Office. So far, the second season was better, but this one is really good too. Maybe it will get even better now that they've just merged the Scranton and Stamford branches together and Jim is around again. I like the new guy, Andy.

We let Pippen watch the Office with us, but first he has to earn it.