Monday, September 22, 2008

Conversations with Mom and Dad


Dad: Well what am I supposed to do? I can't stick around here with all those ladies
Mom: We'll find something for you to do
Dad: I'm going to leave the city, go somewhere far away
Mom: I'll turn off your On-Star

Monday, September 8, 2008

Total Evidence



During the countless flights back and forth between Mexico City and California over the last four years, I always look forward to the passing over of the crop circles. These circles, which are actually sand circles, not crop circles, are located on the mountain tops in the middle of absolute NOTHINGNESS somewhere between the USA and Mexico. There are no roads within a several hundred mile radius of them, so how did they get there?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Watching Tennis with CC


The US Open finals game between Serena Williams (USA) and Jelena Jankovic (Serbia)


CC: Who is that, her father?
Me: Yeah.
CC: Jankovich's?
Me: No, Serena's.

(Pause.)

CC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Friday, September 5, 2008

Speedwalking


During the Olympics I was delighted to watch the Speedwalking event for the very first time. That is because it's one of the few Olympic sports that Mexico has won a gold medal in (in the history of the Olympics, not this year) and competes in regularly. Mexicans have some pretty decent speedwalkers, so it's big news around here and televised as a main event. Here it's called the CAMINATA, which is where the cuteness of the sport begins.


Because it is the cutest sport, ever. For those who haven't watched it before, it is highly entertaining. The swaying of the hips! The hurried little steps!! The rules!! The whole, "is this for real?" factor!





So the other night I had a dream that I was speedwalking.

I was in the middle of a 25K boulder-hold speedwalking race. That is, we had to speedwalk while holding big boulders over our shoulders. I'm doing great but when I'm about 25 meters away from the finish line I trip and fall. I look behind me and see that coming around the bend comes this girl named Beatrice whom I went to high school with and that I haven't seen or thought about in years. I try to get up fast but I can't, so when she gets near enough I grab her leg and try to bring her down with me. She doesn't go down and instead breaks away and crosses the finish line. I cross the finish line finally and find out that I've just won the Bronze medal representing my country (not sure which one) in the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

At first I felt sad that I hadn't known it was the Olympics, because I would have tried harder and maybe could have gotten at least the silver medal, but then I'm suddenly overwhelmed with pride. I'm the third best speedwalker in the WORLD. I kiss my bronze medal, wave at the cheering crowd, and wake up.

Oh, and then there's Pimp Speedwalking, which is pretty much a TTASFICST.