CAPITAL

We didn't end up going to Lake Zirahuen, which is too bad, because I love it there, but we did go on a little vacation to Patzcuaro and Morelia and it was actually fun, even though I thought it was going to be so boring since we weren't going to LAKE ZIRAHUEN as I was promised. I actually didn't want to go on the vacation, so I was falsely promised Lake Zirahuen.

We went to Patzcuaro in the first place because CC's dad entered a 50 years old and over basketball tournament, and his team was representing the great state of Queretaro. They were the suckiest team on the tournament, no question. Every time they played they got beaten by at least 50 points. They also were the only team without proper uniforms, and most of the other teams had matching bags and warm-ups and were sponsored by Coke or Wonderbread. Team Queretaro had on San Antonio Spurs jerseys bought last minute, probably from La Cruz or some other outdoor flea market. It was fun watching the games though, and some teams were really, really good. But, I NEVER WANT TO SEE another over 50 year old man's body again..... How shamelessly they ripped off their shirts to change into their uniforms right in front of everyone. Just because you're playing basketball doesn't mean you're an athlete, and Im mostly talking about Team Queretaro, unfortunately. WHO EVER SAID THAT MEN GET BETTER LOOKING AS THEY AGE??? Not True. Thank God.

So anyway, we lasted a couple of days in Patzcuaro, and then we went and hung out in Morelia again, and I love Morelia because in Morelia you get to eat GAZPACHOS. Gazpachos are made up of finely diced jicama, mango, pineapple and orange, then they put queso cotija with red chile all over it and they give it to you in a cup. There's this famous story about this little man who started out with a cart of fruit on the street and now its this big mega business and he's a millionaire because his gazpachos are that good. They are good, and thats where we go to get them, but I see no signs of him being a millionaire. He's probably got lots of money, but we're in Mexico where "really good money" means 12,000 pesos a month. Mexicans are always bragging about some guy who has worked his way up from selling something on a street corner, but those stories, like all stories, tend to be exaggerated.

That night we stayed in Cuitleo, a tiny little pueblo surrounded by this lake. CC's cousin Daniel lives there with his family and he went out and picked us up to spend the night at his house, which we have never been to. We also got to see his kids, and on the way there CC found a phone in the car and he gave it to his cousin, who then gave it back to me and told me to give it to his nine year old daughter as a present. He was like, if you give her that present, she will love you forever. His kids are so cute and they hung out with us for a while. It was 2 AM and the kids were still hanging out with us and we all played Operation. So I gave Daniela the phone, which turned out to be the cheapest, most horrible phone you can ever imagine. I didnt even know that phones like that existed. She was SO EXCITED about it and kept asking me questions, like, where's the charger? Where's the manual? Is this a joke phone? Because it doesnt look like a real one. I kept thinking to myself, God, that phone is garbage. No wonder your father didnt want to be responsible for getting you that.
But she still loved it and early the next day she gets her dad to buy her a charger, and it's charging, and she asks me where the menu is. This phone doesnt even have a menu. Well it does, but its like, the worst menu on the planet. She asks me if it has a camera. At this point, Im like, ask your uncle. Ask your uncle. Ask your uncle.

Oh, and I almost, almost went to a Pelea de Gallos. Pretty soon. I know I'll hate it but I have this strong need to experience the misery at least once.